Ten Things Thursday

Ten Things Thursday brought to us by the gorgeous Laura

1. We are having a NYE party this year. It will mostly be people in The Rockstar's band and their wives/girlfriends. I like the guys in his band, but I don't like stressing over cleaning the house, preparing food, and everything else that goes into having a party.

2. I got some of my favorite German chocolate in my stocking this year. I have only eaten 6 squares from it. Last year I ate 6 packages in two days.

3. The Boy gave his girlfriend a Promise Ring for Christmas. The fact that my boys give their girlfriends jewelry is just more proof to me that I have done a few things right :)

4. The Rockstar got me an Iphone for Christmas. I know most people would like this gift, but I was perfectly happy with my old phone. I do not generally like change. The Rockstar swears if he didn't force change on me then I would still be carrying around a big Zack Morris (Saved by the Bell) phone. He is probably right.

5. I am madder than a wet hornet that there hasn't been a new episode of Grey's Anatomy on in over a month.

6. I want to go to Chicago with all you beautiful people in 2012. I even put away some of my Christmas money to start saving for it.

7. The Rockstar thinks we have to eat the "good luck" foods on New Year's Day. So every year we have fried pork chops (pork for progress), black eyed peas (for good luck), turnip greens (green for money), and mashed potatoes (because I love them). You also have to leave a little bit of food on your plate (to guarantee a stocked pantry in the new year).

8.  I am one of those annoying people who put clothes on my dog babies.  I absolutely adore them and will be crushed the day they are no longer by my side. My boy is 13 and girl is 12.

9. I am going shopping tomorrow. I know I told y'all about getting two gift cards from Kohl's for Christmas, but I totally forgot that I have $40 in Kohl's cash from doing some of my Christmas shopping there. I may not have to use much of my gift card at all.

10. I am 54 days sober from the Dew.

Word for 2012

My word for 2012 is.... Transcend

tran·scend

transitive verb

 

a : to rise above or go beyond the limits of

b : to triumph over the negative or restrictive aspects of : overcome

 c : to be prior to, beyond, and above (the universe or material existence)

 

 

Like many of you, my doctor told me the "average" loss with the band is 50% of excess weight. I plan to will transcend that average loss. I know that I am not average and I can exceed that average loss.

 

This May I am supposed will graduate with my Ed.S. An Ed.S is the degree in between a Master's and a Doctorate. When I was in high school my guidance counselor told me not to worry about taking the ACT because I wasn't college material. In fact, she told told me I should just try to get a GED and stay home and raise my baby (yes, I was a teenage mother...at age 15). I didn't go to college right out of high school because she had me convinced that I wasn't smart enough to make it through college. A few years later my mother believed in me enough to push me to go. I am so glad she did. I am so glad I didn't stop with just my Bachelor's degree. My accomplishments have completely transcended my own expectations of myself. Btw...I have also maintained a 4.00 all the way through my Master's and Ed.S.

 

Yes, this is going to be the year that I transcend the expectations of that guidance counselor, my doctor, and even myself :)

Back to my new normal

Christmas is over and although I love the time with family, I will be glad to get back to my normal life. I did great on Christmas Eve and Christmas, but we went out of town the day after Christmas. We went to The Rockstar's family to celebrate Christmas. I ate way too much junk over the last two days. I don't know why I can be perfect at home, but lose all control the second we go out of town. Ugh....whatever, I am over it and I will be back on track tomorrow.

Yesterday marked 7 weeks since my surgery. I have lost 23 pounds since surgery. I am still figuring some things out....like what foods do not agree with my band. I haven't tried the obvious trouble foods (bread, pasta, etc), but I have been surprised at some of the other foods I can't tolerate, like eggs. I also don't do well with ground beef. I am a picky eater, so at times I feel like I am eating the same things over and over. I have eaten so much chicken and turkey that I feel like I might start growing feathers soon.

I have a week left of Christmas break...woohoo!!!! I love sleeping late and staying in my big butt pajamas all day. In the last week I have noticed that all of my pants are turning in to "big butt" pants...they are all completely sagging. I got 3 different gift cards to Kohl's for Christmas, so I think I may use one of them in the next week and buy a couple new pairs of pants. I have some smaller clothes from a couple of years ago when I was thinner, but I'm not quite to the point that I can wear those yet. I tried on a pair of the jeans I had in the back of the closet, and although I could get them up they were so tight if I farted it would have blown my boots off. So, although I hate to shop, I guess that's what I will do over the next few days.

Toodles my little banded peeps!

Ten Things Thursday!!!

Thanks to the beautiful Laura Belle we have 10 Things Thursday!

1. My mother randomly sent someone to my house yesterday to measure my kitchen floor. She is having ceramic tile put in her house and said she thought I may just want an estimate for mine. He never gave me an estimate or really even said anything to me...maybe this means she is going to surprise me and have new floors put in for me...that would be way cool.

2. The man who was Principal at my school before Cruella took over (it's close to Christmas so I tried to refrain from calling her Lucifer)  passed away this morning. I am so very sad about this. He was not a good fit for our gang infested school, but he was one of the most kind hearted men I have ever known. He retired because he had cancer. They told him he would not live long if he stayed in that stressful environment. He lived over 3 years after retiring. I am glad his family had that extra 3 years with him. I will miss him dearly.

3. I have been struggling with eating right since I have been on Christmas break. I never go over on calories, but I have been eating too much sugar and not enough protein.

4. I have not spoken to one of my sisters in two years. I tell everyone that I could care less, but in reality I wish she would come to her senses and make amends with my mother. I REALLY don't care if I talk to her again, but I know that it bothers my mother that her own daughter has treated her so poorly.

5. I asked the Rockstar to help me wrap presents. He said "ok, let me go get my staple gun and duct tape"...guess I'll be doing all the wrapping by myself.

6. Both of my kids were here last night, which is rare since they both work (and the youngest is still in high school). I like it when they are both here. When my oldest leaves to go home my boys still hug each other and say I love you....makes me feel like I did something right :)

7. I went in Toys R Us for the first time in years the other day to get my niece a present. When I first walked in I saw all the cute baby stuff and thought how nice it would be to have a baby again. Two minutes after being in there that thought quickly passed.

8. I will be doing a lot of baking tomorrow. I hope I can refrain from a lot of eating.

9. I went to Walmart yesterday and they already had some Valentines Snack cakes there....can they not let us get through Christmas first???

10. I am 47 days clean and sober from the Dew.

I heart the old man bench

I know I wished for Christmas break to be here and I really am enjoying it....but I swear, all I want to do is eat when I am home!! I haven't...but I want to!

I did most of my shopping yesterday. I did not love it. Shopping does not appeal to me. Here is where I would rather be when I am at the mall...

The Old Man Bench :)

I did find a new ornament for the tree :)

Scared of the Scale

I know many of you are self proclaimed scale whores. I am not. Actually, I am just the opposite. I almost can't force myself to get on the scale. It gives me anxiety to even think about it. What if it hasn't moved...or worse, what if it moved up??? I told myself I weigh every Monday since my surgery was on a Monday, but I just can't make myself do it. I am that scared of failing.

Can I also just tell ya that I have never been self conscious about eating in front of other people...until now. The Rockstar and I went out to eat the other day. My first time eating out and ordering something other than soup. I felt uncomfortable the entire time. I feel crazy sitting my fork down after every bit. All that chewing drives me insane. And why does the server have to keep asking me if I want a drink??? I would just order water, but I don't trust myself enough not to drink it if it's right there in front of me.

In unrelated news...I have unplugged my alarm clock and put it in the closet for the next two weeks...yay me! Tomorrow I have to go Christmas shopping....yes, I have been procrastinating. I always do. I hate to go shopping, so I do it all in one day. You think I could get away with just doing all gift cards this year??

I think I can, I think I can

Only one more day left in this shit filled semester. I feel like The Little Engine That Could...or maybe that can't...we shall find out tomorrow. This really has been one of the worst years I have ever had as a teacher. First of all, I work for Lucifer. Seriously, she is the most power hungry, heartless, controlling, narcissistic, stupid ass, dick licking, piece of shit twatwaffle I have ever met (one day I will tell you how I really feel).

Because of Lucifer and her mini-me workers everybody walks around on pins and needles. Needless to say, it is a very hostile, stressful work  environment. I have applied with another school system, but it is not easy to get hired in the middle of a school year...and I would have to take a huge ($10,000) pay cut if I changed. However, if things get much worse, the Walmart Greeter job will be looking pretty good to me.

It has been one week since my first fill. I have been able to eat very little. I have lost 6 pounds since this time last week (not complaining about that). Since we are in the week of finals I couldn't take the time off to go get an unfill. I called my doctor and after a lengthy conversation he said he feels like swelling with the combination of the stress I have had this past week is why I felt so tight. If I still have trouble eating at the beginning of next week I will go in since I will be off for Christmas break.

Nothing much else to update y'all on. My Hypertension Specialist still won't clear me for any type of exercise (other than walking). My bp was better this last time (158/108), but he said it is still way too high for me to exercise and still too high to come off of any of the meds. However, he did take me off of one of the fluid pills (I was on two different ones)....woot, woot...it's not much, but it's a start :)

Sundays Soothe My Soul

I love Sundays...except for the fact that I know the next day I have to awake to the wretched sound of the alarm clock. Sundays are a laid back day in my house. Usually we sleep in late and stay in our PJ's all day. The Rockstar does the laundry and I usually cook a big supper.

Today I didn't sleep late (The Rockstar was feeling frisky at 6:30!!!!) and I didn't cook a big supper, but it was still a great day! I only cooked a pot of homemade soup since I had major issues with eating yesterday. I am feeling much better today. Even water was difficult yesterday, but today drinking has been no trouble, and the soup went down fine.

In case I haven't told y'all (which I know I haven't), I am so thankful to be part of this blogging community. I was a little freaked out yesterday after turning into the slime monster. It really is helpful to read other people's blogs and/or comments and know that other people have experieced the same thing. I just puffy heart love y'all to pieces.

Not a Great Day in Bandland for Me

So, right after my first fill I felt the same...but than again I was on liquids.

Today, not so good. I took one bite of scrambled eggs this morning and was in misery for over half an hour afterwards. I just have to tell y'all....I never knew it was possible to have that much slime in my body. Seriously.

I have not even attempted to eat anything else today. I scared to...I don't wanna see slimefest again. I have been drinking, but even that is a little uncomfortable unless it is just small sips. I have barely made it through a bottle of water today.

Somehow, this is not exactly what I thought a fill would feel like.

First Fill and 10 Things Thursday

I got my first fill today!!! Y'all know I was a big ole fraidy cat about that big ole needle...but it was fine. He didn't ask me if I wanted the numbing shot...just did it anyway. I was ok with that and it didn't burn/hurt very much at all. He said I had 3cc's in from surgery and he added 2 more for a total of 5cc's.

I also had to see the NUT while I was there. I think that NUT is a nut...she said I should only be eating 600 calories a day. I asked the doctor about it and said that only pertained to immediately after surgery and now it should be 900-1100...which is what I have been doing.

I had lost 18 pounds since my pre op appointment...yay!

ok, now on to 10 Things Thursday....

1. My doctor's office used to be a mall, so there are many, many doctor's offices in there now. When I went in today there was a gourmet cheesecake stand set up right in between the surgical weight loss center and the heart clinic. WTF???  Were they trying to ensure job security or what??

2. I haven't even started Christmas shopping and probably won't until I get off for Christmas break.

3. I have had so much paperwork to do at work (educational plans, ACT accommodations, etc) that I have been a craptastic teacher this week. I will be having an unannounced observation at any time...glad it wasn't this week.

4. We have an advisory group once a week where we are supposed to talk about getting ready for college, grades, and many other "advising" type things. This week the kids were supposed to write a thank-you letter to one teacher or adult in the building who had helped them this semester. Afterwards the advisory teacher would place the letter in that teacher's mailbox. I got a letter...and can you believe it was from my lovely child who calls me names on a daily basis?? Keep in mind that I teach behavior disordered teenagers who have no filter with their language. The letter said:

Dear Big Azz Barbie, (yes, that is exactly how he addressed it)

Thank you for helping me with my grades and making sure I graduate this year. That other teacher fucked up my credits and you took care of it for me. Keep doing a good job. You will always be my favorite teacher. You are almost like my white mama.

Peace out,
Your Bobby Hill (I told him once that he was like a ghetto Bobby Hill from King of the Hill)

I got all teary eyed...he still thinks I look like Barbie and loves me like a mama :)

5. The Rockstar doesn't really understand the process of getting a fill. All he knows is how big the needle was and that I should feel more restriction. In his mind it was a big ordeal and he has gone back to waiting on me hand and foot. Is it bad that I have just let him continue to think that???

6. I had a crazy dream last night that I caught The Rockstar doing heroin (he does not do ANY drugs in real life) and I told him that I was leaving him. I went to speed away, only I didn't have a real car. I only had one of those pink battery operated Barbie Jeeps for kids...so I took off in that.

7. I noticed last night that my hair is much thinner in the front than it was a month ago. Good thing I still  have a lot of hair in the back. I may have to consider doing the balding man comb over soon if this keeps up.

8. Paula Deen is my hero even if I can't eat her stuff any more. I am making some cookies this weekend from one of her cookbooks. They are called Ooey Gooey Chocolate Butter Cookies. You know they are gonna be good if the word butter is in the title. I'm not going to eat them. I am making them to put in a goody basket for Mr. Hottie as his Christmas present. Last year he gave me a gift card and I felt bad because I had not bought him anything. He loves to eat, so I figured he would like a goody basket.

9.  I bought new make up today. I know some people get excited over new purses or shoes, but my thing is make up. I love it!

10. I still haven't had a Mountain Dew and the craving is no less today than it was a month ago.

One month surgiversary

Can you believe it has been one month??? Me either. I haven't weighed this week, so not sure what my total loss is right now. I have my first fill appointment tomorrow, so I will just wait to see what his scales say.

My nerves are up and down like whore's drawers. One minute I think I am fine with it and the next I start thinking about that big ole needle. My doctor offers the numbing shot if you want it...I don't know if I want it. I have read where some of y'all say the numbing shot hurts worse than the fill needle, and others say they wouldn't get the fill without it. Decisions, decisions...help!

I also meet with nutritionist tomorrow. No worries there. I have done good when it comes to that. I do think I deserve some kind of award for going 30 days without a Mountain Dew...just sayin.

BYOC

It's FRIDAY so that means it's BYOC - Bring Your Own Crazy! Brought to you by the one and only Drazil! We answer a couple of questions in an effort to get to know each other better and to give our blogging brains a break! Copy and paste and answer in your own blogs if you'd like!! ENJOY!!

1. Describe the structure you live in. (apartment, condo, house, mansion, cardboard box?)
   I live in a two story house that sits on a little hill. The master bedroom is on the first level and the other bedrooms are upstairs. I have an attached garage, but I don't get to park my car in there...it is filled with The Rockstar's drumset, as well as The Boy's drumset and guitars.
   
   
   
2. Describe the city you live in. (population, main attractions)
   I really don't know the population of my city...I would say around 100,000 or so. It is known as a military town, but I live on the opposite side of town as the base.
   
   
3. Why do you live in the town you live in? (job, to get away from a different town, family, schools?)
   I was born and bred here :) The Rockstar was in the military when I met him. When he asked me to marry him I told him I could only stay married to him as long as he was stationed here because I could never leave my mama. He married me any way and got out of the military when he was up to reenlist.
   
   
4. What’s the view like from your backyard?
   Just a yard, the pool/deck, and a tree.
   
   
   
   
5. Repeat question: Summarize your week in real life and in blog land.

    Blogland was good. I haven't had to time to read all the blogs, but I will catch up this weekend. I love how supportive everyone is of each other. That's the whole reason I started a blog...I knew I would need a dabble of that lovin to help me through this journey :)

Real life has been so so. Home life is good. The Boy turned 18 today and I am feeling very sad that both of my babies are now "grown." Work life has been less that desirable. School life was supposed to be good because last night was supposed to be my last night of the semester BUT my professor called me on my way to school and asked me to pick up everyones papers and meet her this weekend to give them to her. She got caught up with something and couldn't make it to class...which means we still have to go in one more time and take the last test...ugh.

Ten Things Thursday

Ten things Thursday, brought to us by that totally hawt girl at beerdogsandhealth

1. My snow dance was a big fat fail earlier this week. Although I saw some snow flakes in the air, it just wasn't enough to get me a day off. Damn weather man. Just like a man to exaggerate on inches.

2. The Boy has a birthday tomorrow. He will be 18. I'M FREE, I'M FREE!!! Ok, I know I'm really not, but it felt good to think it for a second. He asked me what I was getting him for his birthday....I told him some luggage. He told me he wasn't planning on taking any trips. When I explained it was for packing up to move out he said "Mom...you know I am going to live her forever." When I asked him what about when he gets married his reply was "well, we have a guest room, she will be fine"

3. I finally got brave enough to get on the scale. I lost 2 pounds. I will take it.

4. Is it weird that I will only weigh myself on days that I pooped?

5. I used to host foreign exchange students. We have remained very, very close with our German son. Every once in a while he sends me my favorite chocolate from Germany. I haven't told him about getting banded. I know he will send me some for Christmas. I hope I have enough restraint not to eat it all at once. Maybe I shall share most of it this year.

6. I get my first fill next week. I am super duper nervous about that big ole needle.

7. My mother met a lady yesterday that had been banded 4 years ago and she lost over 200 pounds. After talking to this lady my mother felt the need to give me a lecture on how this band is only a tool and I have to work with the band...yes mama, I already know that.

8. I have my last class for the semester tonight. I am sooooo over going to school. I know my mama really wants to see me get a Doctorate....but I am over it.

9. Only two more weeks until Christmas break!!!

10. Hi. My name is Bigass Barbie and I'm a Dew aholic. I have been clean and sober for 26 days.... I want a Mountain Dew dammit!

New Blogger Alert

There's a new blogger in town...Strawberry Confessions

Stop by and show her some love :)

3 weeks post op and in Bandster Hell

It has been 3 weeks today and I am beginning to think that surgeon just made some random cuts, slapped some glue on me, and called it a day. Seriously, I could eat anything I wanted..."could" being the key word. I haven't gone over 1200 calories...not even on Thanksgiving.

I haven't had a Mountain Dew in 22 days and I am hungry...which puts me in a bad mood. Noone wants to be around me right now, and I don't blame them. Even my gangbangers sweet babies at school are offering me chocolate and chips thinking it will put me in a better mood. Bless their little hearts.

I don't know if I have lost any weight this week. I have been weighing on Mondays since my surgery was on a Monday. I haven't weighed today because I am afraid if I see no loss again this week it will push me over the edge.

My first fill is in 10 days. Pray for those around me until then...they are gonna need it.

In unrealted news... they are calling for a possible 1/2 inch of snow here tonight. Don't laugh, we have closed schools for less.

Toodles ya'll...I am off to do my snow dance. Wonder how many calories that will burn???

Random Thoughts on a Rainy Day

It has been raining here for 3 days and I am totally over it. I am a teacher. We pray for snow (yay for snow days!), but never for rain. So, today I decided to pretend all that rain was snow and take me a snow day :-) Really, I stayed home with The Boy who is still feeling sickly from having his wisdom teeth taken out.

Have I told you I am really close to my mother?? Really close in every sense...she lives in the neighborhood right behind me. She calls me any time she sees my car still parked in the driveway on her way to work (I leave an hour earlier than her) to ask me why I am not at work. I am 41 years old and still feel like I can't get away with skipping school.

I am two weeks post op. I didn't lose any weight this week. I am trying not to beat myself up over this since I am completely on regular food now. I have read where some people actually gain a little when they are back on regular food, but it is still disappointing when I don't see the scale move.

I don't have class this week since my class is on a Thursday....woot, woot! Being the procrastinator that I am , I will not complete the 5 journal article reviews that will be due next week. Rather, I will wait until the day before and stress and complain about doing it all in one day....because that's how I roll.

That's all my random thoughts for the day. Toodles.

Mood stabliziers...yes, please

Well Lord help me, I just do not know what has been wrong with me this weekend. My emotions have been like a Mexican jumping bean. One minute I am laughing like hyena, and the next I am crying like a baby. If I'm not laughing or crying, then I am madder than wet hornet...for no reason.

The Rockstar has been so good to me for the last two weeks. He won't let me lift a thing, he has washed every dish that has been placed in the sink, and he is the only reason we have had clean drawers to cover our behinds since I haven't even considered doing any laundry. Yet, I have still been a big, ole bear to him. Why? I have no idea.

This sounds so stupid to say, but I am pissed off because I can't eat what I want. Well, I could, but I won't let myself. Then I get mad at everyone around like it's their fault I can't dive head first into vat of fried chicken grease or chocolate.

Why am I doing this??? Maybe my new name should be Lunatic Barbie.

BYOC

It's FRIDAY so that means it's BYOC - Bring Your Own Crazy! Brought to you by the one and only Drazil! We answer a couple of questions in an effort to get to know each other better and to give our blogging brains a break! Copy and paste and answer in your own blogs if you'd like!! ENJOY!!

1. What is your FAVORITE part of Thanksgiving?
   The food, duh...and sleeping late. My mama does most of the cooking, and she is the best cook I know!
   
   
2. How many Thanksgiving family events will you attend?
   Just the one at my mama's house.
   
   
3. What’s your biggest Thanksgiving tradition?
   We always eat around noon then everyone goes home. We all go back to my mama's house that night and eat leftovers. In the past my sisters and I would sit around and watch old home videos from when we were in high school, but since I haven't spoken to one of my sisters in 2 years I don't think that will happen this year :(
   
   
4. Do you Black Friday shop the day after Thanksgiving?
   Hell to the no....I work with crazy people every day, I don't wanna spend my days off with them too. I also don't much like shopping. I do all of my Christmas shopping in one day, and much of that is done online.
   
   
5. Repeat question: Summarize your week in real life and in blog world.
   Real life has been sucky. I went back to work on Tuesday and the rest of the week was VERY stressful. The other behavior teacher was out today and a sub didn't show up. So guess who got those angel babies all day??? Yep, you guessed it, me. I had my kids plus his...and no assistant.

          Blog world has been just peachy!

Ten Things Thursday

1. I went back to work on Tuesday and let me just tell y'all....this week sucked big, green, wart infested donkey dicks!! The week was a belligerent bitch and I am so glad tomorrow is Friday.

2. I apologize for all of the profanity. The longer I work with behavior disordered kids the more I become like them...don't judge, it's a coping mechanism.

3. I have class on Thursday nights. Tonight I noticed that I pass 11 fast food restaurants on my way home. Before last month I stopped at one of those places almost every Thursday night. I'm pretty sure Chick Fil A probably has a missing poster of me posted on the front door.

4. Why does toilet paper cost so damn much??? I have actually been getting in all my water and I pee like crazy. I'm sure I have killed an entire forest this week alone.

5. The kid who initially called me Big Ass Barbie has moved on to another name...now it's Country Barbie. People say I have a thick southern accent...I just don't hear it y'all :) I don't mind either name, but I think I prefer Big Ass Barbie. Either way...he still thinks I look like Barbie!

6. I thought I would be weighing myself every day, but actually I haven't been weighing myself at all. I was weighed at my post op appt on Monday and haven't weighed since.

7. The Boy will be 18 in just two weeks. I really can't believe both of my babies will be grown. It makes me feel old.

8. My friend that I told y'all about who was getting the band with plication had her surgery yesterday. The surgery went fine, but she said she was in pain. I asked her if she was taking the pain medication and she said the prescription hadn't been filled...well, duh...take your medicine.

9. I got a call today reminding that I have another dentist appointment on Monday. I told y'all...I would rather run through hell with gasoline panties on than go to the dentist. This should be the last appointment until next year.

10. My dreams have been so vivid since surgery and I haven't taken the pain meds since the second day. The dreams have often included my favorite foods. Last night I was in a Krispy Kreme doughnut eating contest with a midget from the Wizard of Oz. I won.

Buttdumpling and Ex Lax Ellie

Today was my first day back at work!!

Everything was smooth sailing....until Coach Buttdumpling decided to park his fundraising crack cart in my room during my planning period. This is what stared me down for over an hour today...

In unrelated news...I am having trouble drinking all this water when I am limited as to when I can go to the bathroom. Today my eyeballs were floating by the time the bell rang. I beat the kids out of the room, dashed to the faculty restroom and did the pee pee dance in the hall waiting for Ex Lax Ellie to get outta there...and then gagged the entire time I was in there....ugh.

One week and first post op

I had my first post op appointment today (more about that in sec). The Boy was out of school today (for teacher inservice) and wanted to go with me. No, not because he is overly concerned about what the doctor had to say, but because there is a big music store right next to my doctor's office and he wanted to but a new amp and guitar strings. Of course he had would rather use my gas than his to get there (it's an hour away from our home). I was glad he wanted to go with me. I have noticed with both of my boys I have always had the best conversations with them in the car...or while doing something does not require eye contact. I don't know if this is a boy thing or just a teenage thing. Either way, I was happy to have that 2 hours to have great conversation with a great kid :)

Now, on to my appointment. I had to see the nurse, the doctor, and the nutritionist. This was a nurse I had not met before. I found out that she is the one who will do the fills when the doctor doesn't do them. She was as sweet as my Bigmama's tea. I really liked her a lot and think we will get along just fine. I was disappointed that my blood pressure isn't any better yet (168/109), but since they took me off of two meds for the first week after surgery the doctor said he isn't surprised. My liver biopsy came back ok...um, I didn't know you took a liver  biopsy. Apparently, The Rock Star didn't think it was noteworthy to tell me about the suspicious spot the doctor saw on my liver...but he didn't fail to tell me that the doctor said I might be more comfortable without a bra for the week.

So, I want to tell you about my loss, but I don't know if I count the entire loss, or just that since surgery??? I have lost 14 pounds since my first initial visit to the office, and 9 since my pre op appointment...so do I still get to say I have lost 14 pounds even though some of it was prior to surgery??? I sure hope so.

My next appointment is December 8. I may or may not get a fill...he said he "primed" my band more than usual and he wasn't sure if I would need one.

Now on to my first real food....scrambled eggs with cheese. I'm excited!

Super Saturday

Well it has been 5 days since I had surgery and I am fine as frog hair split four ways. Seriously...I feel great! I still feel like I was punched in the stomach, but no other complaints. I think I was the luckiest girl in the world because I never did have any of those awful gas pains that everyone else talks about.

I haven't been on the scale...I'm kinda skeered. What if it hasn't moved??? I think I am going to wait until Monday at my first post op appointment. At home I wouldn't think twice about throwing myself in floor and having an emotional breakdown with arms and legs flailing about if the scale hasn't moved...but I think I will have some restraint if that happens at the doctor's office.

So according to The Boy I now officially suck at grocery shopping. Every week I ask him what he wants from the grocery store and he usually replies "whatever." Well, in the past "whatever" to me meant pizza, cookies, snack cakes, doughnuts, and anything else that tickled my fancy at the time. This week his reply was the same, but to me that meant "whatever you choose mom, I love you and would never want to tempt you all those unhealthy, artery clogging, make your ass bigger foods...just make it something healthy and we will all join you in this quest for good health"....well, apparently I was way wrong for assuming that is what he meant...and have been dubbed the worst grocery shopper ever. Whatever, I've been called worse :)

Ten Things Thursday

1. I am not sure I will have 10 things to say since my week has only consisted of pj's, chicken broth, and liquid loratab.

2. I don't miss going to work one little bit.

3. The Rockstar has taken very good care of me this week...which is a big deal because he usually sucks at taking care of even himself

4. I have watched more tv than I thought possible this week. I have realized that you can go 15 years without watching a soap opera and be completely caught up on what has happened in 3 days. I know that Victor has been on The Young and Restless since I was a toddler when my Bigmama watched it...he is STILL on there. He must be like 105 or close to it.

5. Mr. Hottie (the hot teacher down the hall) has texted me every day checking on me. Don't worry, The Rockstar NEVER gets jealous and Mr. Hottie is young enough to be my child...and I don't make enough money to be someone's Cougar ;)

6. I have not pooped since the day before surgery (Sunday)...and today is Thursday. Should I be worried? The Rockstar did always say I was full of shit...at this point he is probably right.

7. I have been an emotional rollercoaster this week. One minute I'm on a high thinking I am gonna be a skinny, fierce bitch within the next year (maybe that's the liquid loratab talking), and the next I am still afraid I will fail.

8. Thursday is one of my favorite tv nights...I <3 Grey's Anatomy

9. I think some of y'all are the greateset thing since free internet porn (I kid, I kid). But seriously, I love to read about everyone else's journey and I like knowing I can lean on y'all for some advice.

10. I was worried I wouldn't have 10 things to say...who was I kidding...I always have something to say :)

Day 3

For some reason I feel a little worse today than I did yesterday. Maybe it's because I haven't taken any pain medicine. Maybe it's because I was up every effing 30 minutes to go pee last night. Maybe it's just because I am being a whiny butt baby today.

I am not having any trouble tolerating liquids, but I know I am not taking in enough. I just can't deal with the protein powders...they are all nasty to me. I am only taking in about 500 calories...at most. I will try to do better today. My doctor doesn't require a long liquid diet...he said I can move to puree/mushies today if I feel like it. I'm not sure I feel like it though.

For the good news (and don't be a hater)...I have had no gas pains what so ever. I also think my incisions look pretty damn good. Here is a pic...sorry it's a little blurry.

This Bigass Barbie is officially Banded!!!!

Yesterday was the day! I would have posted last night, but I was higher than a hippie in a helicopter on all those pain meds, and I was afraid it wouldn't make any sense. So here is how it all went down:

We arrived at the hospital at 5:30 am. I was checked in and called back by 6. They did the usual...ask me the same questions they had already asked me 5,643,278 times. Made me strip nakey and put on designer gown and stockings.

They had a hard time getting the IV in. I hate it when the nurse doesn't want to listen to me. I told her that she wouldn't be able to do it on the left side...anywhere. She said "oh sure we can, you have great veins over here and we don't like to do it on your right side since you are right handed." So, three failed attempts later (kept blowing my veins) I wanted to scream "Look twatwaffle, I told you to start on the right side!" Finally, another nurse came in and got it in right away.

By 7:30 they came in and said I was getting something to relax me. It did more than relax me, it knocked my ass out! I remember The Rockstar kissing me and then nothing else until I woke up in recovery. I do, however, remember hurting like hell when I woke up. I felt like I couldn't catch my breath good and I felt like they left the scapel dug in my abdominal area on the left side. The nurse said don't worry I will take care of that for you...and she did...she hooked a sista up with hella good drugs. I don't know what she gave me, but that pain went right away.

I had heard a lot of people say that they had really chapped lips when they came out. I took my Bonne Bell Strawberry and Vanilla lip balm with me. I caked it on just before they took me to the O.R. and I didn't have chapped lips at all. I also didn't feel dried out...they had this mask on me that sprayed a fine cool mist, so that was all good.

By noon I had peed 3 times and had tolerated liquid several times, so they said I was ready to go if I wanted. Just before they took the IV out they shot me up with Morphine, Zofran, and made me drink some liquid Lorabtab. Let's just say I don't remember much of the hour drive home.

We got home and The Rockstar put me to bed. He took everything the doctor said very literally...he was waking me up every 30 minutes to drink 2 oz...and yes he had it measured in Dixie cups. He was forcing me to take pain meds every 4 hours...finally when I woke up for good this morning I said "Enough with the pain meds!" I have tolerated liquids with no problem and had some jello and a little chicken broth. I am not really hungry and don't really feel like having anything but water and juice.

All in all, it wasn't too bad. I do feel like Mike Tyson punched me in stomach, but I know that will get better each day.

Nervous, Excited, Scared, and Hungry as hell

Well, that sums up how I am feeling. It is 2 am and I can't sleep. I slept for a few hours, but visions of biscuits and gravy danced in my head...so I got up.

I am having second thoughts...is this normal??? I mean, what if I am totally being selfish and never wake up from this and leave The Boy and The Big Boy without a mother. The love me fat or not. Th Rockstar could find another groupie (although not as hot and boobalicious as me ;) but my boys could never replace me.

I know...I am just being silly and everything will be fine.

We leave the house in 2 hours. I hope my surgeon had a great weekend. I sent him an email on Friday and told him to send his wife flowers that day so I knew he would have a good weekend ;) Hopefully he took my advice. I told him a happy wife = a happy life, but ya know, some men never learn that. I shall ask him this morning if he sent them to her. Hell, if I had known his address I would have just sent them myself and signed his name to them.

Damn, I wish I had a Mt. Dew right about now.

Oh well, time to put my big girl panties on and do this.

Tomorrow is my Big Day!!

In less than 24 hours I will be one of you...a bandster! I didn't think I would be nervous at all...but I am!!  The Rockstar has always said if sleeping was an olympic event I would be a gold medalist...but not last night. I tossed and turned all night.

I have to be at the hospital at 5:30 am. The hospital is almost an hour away so we will be leaving here at 4:30...is it legal to be up that early??? I don't have to spend the night in the hospital, so I really don't have anything to pack.

I know I said I wasn't going to have that "last" meal...but my mother made me. I think in her mind I will never be able to eat again. Here is how our phone convo went down:

Mama: I am taking you out to eat tonight.

Me: Mama, I really don't need to go out to eat. I have done so well on the pre op diet I don't want to mess it up.

Mama: Well you gotta eat, and since they are gonna starve you to death after today I think you need to eat.

Me: Mama, I am not gonna starve to death. Have you seen my ass lately??? I got enough in reserve to last me for a long time. I really think I just need to stick to the pre op diet.

Mama: OK, I will pick you up 6:30...see ya then, love you,  Bye.


I told you, us southerners think they have to show love with food...even if the person is about to have weight loss surgery. I knew this was my mother's way of just showing she loved me...so I went and ate a salad. I brought the entree home for the Rockstar to eat...better it go on his ass than mine.

When I got home The Rockstar and I went to the grocery store to get the stuff I would need for next week. I didn't take a list with me, so I am sure I probably forgot something...

BYOC

Let’s get to what we came here for! BYOC – Bring Your Own Crazy. A couple questions we answer to get to know each other better and to give our blogging brains a break. Copy and paste to your own blog if you wish! Enjoy! Compliments of Draz!

Let’s do another themed BYOC…..this one will be called “What’s In/On Your….?”

1. What’s on your desk between your monitor and keyboard? (if it’s a laptop – what’s on your desk in general)

My laptop is in my lap right now, so nothing. I don't want to think about what's on my work desk right since I am not in my classroom. I like everything perfect on my desk and it bugs me when I come back from having a sub and everything has been moved around...so, I am not going to think about it until I return to work in 11 days.

2. What’s on your mind right at this moment?

I will be banded in 3 days!!! I am thinking about everything I need to do this weekend...clean the house, do the laundry, grocery shop, be a good groupie for my Rockstar ;)


3. What’s in or on your nightstand on your side of the bed?

Alarm clock, lamp, home phone, cpap machine. We won't talk about what's in the nightstand :)

4. What’s on YOUR Christmas wish list (let’s assume you’d get what was on it)?

I never have a wish list. I am not very good at accepting gifts...but I wouldn't mind a new kitchen floor.

5. Repeat question: Summarize your week in real life and in blog land.

Real life has been a little crazy. Lucifer's wokers our administrators decided that I didn't need an assistant in my room and moved him to a different class. Actually, they decided that neither of the behavior classrooms needed an assistant. I mean, why would we need an assistant when we deal with emotionally disturbed, sometimes homicidal/suicidal kids???

Blogland has been great. This is still a little new to me and I feel like I spend way too much time on here trying to read everyone's blog. It seems like more people post during the day and I don't have time to read/comment while I am at work.

I hope all you have great weekend!

Ten Things Thursday!

1. Thank you to all who commented on my post yesterday. I have decided not to have that "last meal" because I think I would feel guilty after I have done so well these last two weeks....but damn Chinese sure does sound good!

2. Today was my last day with kids until after my surgery. I have to work tomorrow, but I will have a sub in my class. We get one day each semester to do paperwork. I saved my day until tomorrow so I can make sure any last minute things get done. Since I already have all my sub plans done for the time I will be out it should be an easy schmeezy day.

3. I have lost 7 pounds since I started this non required pre op diet...Chinese still sounds good, but 7 pounds is like a newborn!

4. In the last two weeks I have suddenly become obsessed with weighing myself. Even if I just weighed myself in the morning, I feel compelled to weigh myself again if I poop...TMI??

5. I still have not given up my liquid crack (Mountain Dew) and I won't until I the last day

6. I went to the dentist yesterday. I would rather run through Hell with gasoline panties on than go to the dentist.

7. I feel better on days when I wear matching bras and panties

8. I have had the song "Superfreak" stuck in my head all day

9. My mother has her panties in a bit of a wad about Thanksgiving. She stresses every year about all the cooking, but this year she is fussing about the things she usually makes just for me that I won't be able to eat. I told her that it just meant less cooking. She said "just forget it, I am having it catered this year"...um, ok

10. I will be banded in 4 days!!

One day closer

I am down to 5 days (4 if you don't include surgery day). As I have said, my doctor didn't require the pre op diet that most people had to do. He only requires all liquids the day before. I decided on my own to do the pre op diet...what in the hell was I thinking??? I am effing hungry dammit! But I have stuck to it. Why is my sense of smell so much better??? I can smell the teacher down the hall heating up her lunch...and she keeps her door closed! I am drooling when I see Burger King commerical (and I never even eat Burger King).

I am wondering...should I stick with this pre op diet (that I was not required to do), or should I go the Chinese Buffet and dive in head first??? I resisted all the Halloween candy, cupcakes, cookies, hot teacher, and and doughnuts...but should I just say eff it and eat what I want for the last few days???

Tell me what ya think.

Versatile Blogger Award :)

Yay!!!

Versatile: ver-sa-tile [vur-suh-tl] or, especially British, [vur-suh-tahyl]: capable of, or adapted for, turning easily from one to another various tasks, fields of endeavor, etc.: a versatile writer.

Word information source: www.dictionary.com

Here is how the award works:

1. You thank the person who presented you with the award.

2. You tell 7 things about yourself.

3. You award 15 other newly discovered bloggers

Thank you, thank you, thank you to Lolli and Robyn who both nominated me!

Here's my 7 things:

1. I love all things sparkly

2. My lucky number is 2

3. I hate green foods

4. My mother is my best friend...for real, like I am co dependent, attached, haven't cut the cord...get the picture??

5. I have two boys. I like my kids, not just because they are my kids and I have to say I like them, but I really genuinely like the young men they have become and enjoy spending time with them.

6. I met The Rockstar 20 years ago. Three days later he asked me to marry him. Six weeks later we were married.

7. I will be banded in 6 days!!

15 nominations is a lot...I'm a new blogger y'all...that would be almost all my followers. So, I will start with 5.

Mari

AJ

Jackie

Big Jim

Alicia

Happy Halloween!!

One week from today I will be banded!!!!

Today has been filled with temptation...cupcakes, candy, cookies, sex with hot men. Ok, maybe the last one was a lie...but all the others were in my face most of the day. Although my doctor didn't require a pre op diet I have been doing one anyway.  That cupcake looked so good today I just wanted to sniff it, touch it, lick it...oh wait, that was the hot teacher down the hall. I am so proud of my self...I resisted (the cupcake and the teacher :-)

I will be glad when today is over. The first few trick or treaters might just end up with their bags full so I can get rid of it early and be done with it. This is what has been in my house for the last week and I have not touched it...

BYOC

It’s Friday and time for BYOC – Bring Your Own Crazy! A couple of questions we answer to get to know each other better and to give our blogging brains a break. Copy to your own blog and enjoy!


1. When did you begin blogging? Do you plan to do it a long time or do you think you’ll stop after a while?

Just a few weeks ago. I plan to do it a long time, but I have commitment issues...so maybe.

2.  What do you enjoy more - blogging yourself or reading other’s blogs?

Reading other people's blogs for sure. I have learned so much from reading blogs and it is what really helped me make my decision to be banded. Maybe I will enjoy the writing part more when I have more to say other than how I have till I am banded.

3.  What’s the biggest thing blogging has taught you? Biggest surprise about blogging?

Before I started blogging I realized from all of y'all how supportive you were of each other...and I thought "I want that!" The biggest surprise has been how funny some of y'all are...you crack me up :-)

4.  Have you met any other bloggers in real life – solely because of your blog or theirs?

No, but I would love to!!

5.  Does your blog have a general theme as in one topic or do you cover everything and anything?

Well since I am new to it I can't say that I have a theme other than getting banded.

6.  Are you public or anonymous? Whichever you are – do you ever wish you were the other?

I’m anonymous for the most part. I don't use my name, but it's no big secret where I am from and my picture is on here. I have been thinking about taking the picture off. If it weren't for my job I wouldn't care about being totally public.

7.  What’s your best blogging advice for a new blogger?

I am a new blogger...so what's your advice for me???

8.  Does anyone in your real life read your blog/know it’s address? Do you wish they would or wouldn’t?
My bff knows about it, but I don't know if she has read it...I just gave her the address the other day and haven't talked to her since then. The Rockstar and The Boy know I blog, but they don't know the address, nor do I think they would be interested in reading it unless they thought I had posted something juicy about them.

9.  Do you enjoy blogging or do you view it as a chore? How often do you blog?

So far I have enjoyed it. I read them everyday, but I don't post everyday.

10.  Do you tell people in your real life that you blog? Or keep it a secret?

I keep it on the down low. 
***************************************************

First Time Ten Things Thursday

Ok, so this is my first Ten Things Thursday. I'm not sure if there are any "rules" about the ten things, or if it's just random...so mine are just random. Here ya go:

1. I have a slight obsession with flip flops. I hate socks and shoes, so I will wear flip flops until it's so cold my feet are turning pretty shades blue. It is 50 degrees and rainy here today...and yes, I have on flip flops.

2. I am the kinda person who tries to play mind tricks on myself by always having my alarm clock 10 minutes ahead....of course my mind is not tricked and I continue to oversleep... often.

3. It bugs me if I have an uneven number of friends on facebook.

4. I can't seem to get away from men/boys. I am the only girl in my house. Most of my students are boys. I work in a small wing of the school with all males. Needless to say most of the laughter I hear revolves around someone's bodily functions.

5. My toenails are painted all year long, even in  the winter when noone sees them but me. I love to get a pedicure!!

6. I am a very picky eater and I don't like to try new foods.

7. My high school guidance counselor told me not to worry about taking the ACT because I wasn't really college material. I am currently working on my Doctorate...guess she was wrong.

8. I accidentally sent one of my professors some funny Halloween porn yesterday. Her name is right above one of my bff's in my contact list. I didn't realize I had clicked on the wrong person until it was too late...oopsie.

9. Mountain Dew is my liquid crack. I have no idea how I will break that addiction when I am banded.

10. I will be banded in exactly 11 days.

Two weeks from today!!!

Two weeks from this very moment I will be banded!! My surgeon doesn't require a pre op diet (except for the day before) but I decided I would try it any way. It wasn't difficult at all to do today because I was too busy to even think about food. We had 15 teachers and 5 assistants out today...apparently the 10 day fall break just wasn't enough for them. I'm not hatin'...if it weren't for the fact that I am going to burn up 7 sick days for the pre op appointments, surgery, and post op appointment then I would have been tempted to call in sick too.

I told my kiddos today that in 2 weeks I would be out for a week. They asked why and I told them I was having some surgery...then quickly went into the expectations of them while I was gone. I did that because they needed to hear my expectations, but even more so, I didn't want to give them time to ask me any questions.

I have only told one person at work about getting banded. I told another teacher who is getting banded the week after me. We started this process about the same time. She told me last week that she is having a different procedure than me...she is getting the band with plication. I told I was shocked that our insurance covered that since it was relatively new. She proceeded to tell me that our insurance didn't cover it, her surgeon was doing the plication part free of charge. Sounds fishy?? Yeah it did to me too. Come to find out he is doing it for free...not out of the goodness of his heart, but because he is involved in a study on the procedure. Guess how many of these he has done??? Only 1!!! I am scared for her, but it's her decision and I will support her just as she supports me.

As I blogstalked reasearched about the band I frequently went to the very beginning of people's blogs. I wanted to know what everyone else had to do get approved, as well as what I could expect on the big day and immediately after. So just so you know, if I follow you and you started blogging before your surgery, chances are pretty good that I took the time to read your journey the whole way through (stalk much??? umm, yeah I do).

So I decided just in case there is some other stalker researcher out there who is looking for the same thing I would tell you what I had to do pre approval:

• Information seminar
• Nutrition education class
• Butt load of blood work (I thought for sure I would need a transfusion when they were done)
• Letter of recommendation from my PCP
• Attend a support group meeting
• Nutrition assessment with Dietitian
• Six month medical weight loss program (I actually didn't have to do anything for this since I had monthly documented evidence of doctor visits...he always mentioned nutrition/diet in his notes because I was on a low sodium diet for malignant hypertension)
• 5 year weight history (my surgeon was afraid that this would get me a denial since 3 years ago I was not considered obese...but he was confident we could appeal it based on my health conditions)
• Psychological evaluation
• Cardiac clearance from my Cardiologist (this didn't require much because I had a stress test as well as an arteriogram within the last year)
• Sleep study (which led to a lovely CPAP machine)
• Endoscopy (I have Barrett's esophagus and my surgeon won't do the band on people with Barrett's if they have dysplasia...thank goodness I didn't)
• Pap smear (wtf??? I don't want the surgeon any where near that end. My surgeon didn't require this, but my PCP wouldn't give me clearance without it since it had been 5 years)

Whew!!! By the end of that I felt like I had been poked, prodded, invaded, and a little violated...but hopefully, it will all be worth it.

Awesome Makeover!!!

The blog fairy came my way...and look what a fabulous job she did!!! Big, big thanks to Jen for the amazing makeover. She rocks!!!

Turn that frown upside down

Today I was having a bad self image day. I always do at the change of seasons when I have to find something that will fit over my big ass (and all other big parts). I was having a pity party for most of the day.

 Since I am on fall break I would have normally just sat around in my sweats and not left the house for the day, but I couldn't do that today. You see, The Boy (my baby) is in the band and he is a senior. Tonight was not only senior night, but it was also the very last time I would see my baby march on that field.

During senior night all seniors are escorted on the field by their parents and recognized. I didn't WANT to be recgnized...I was feeling fat, old, and way less than pretty. He is my baby, so I just had to suck it up and get over myself.

Just before we walked on the field the principal gave the seniors a flower to present to their mother. Now, I have to tell ya...The Boy almost never gives any kind of compliment. So when he does, you know he means it (or he's trying to get money). Just after they recognized him over the speaker he handed me the flower and said "This is for the most beautiful woman in the world."

The pity party has been canceled.

The Fat South

Did you know that Tennessee was the 4th fattest state in the US?? Me neither until this past summer when I attended the informational weight loss surgery seminar...but I am not at all surprised. Here in the south we mean business when we eat.

Here in the south we like our food fried and smothered in gravy. We will literally flour and fry just about anything...chicken, pickles, Twinkies...you name it, we can fry it up. We are all about some biscuits and cornbread. Did you know that "Crack"er Barrel originated right here in Tennessee?? Yep, it sure did. Oh, and sweet tea...I was shocked in my adulthood to discover that in other parts of the country you can't order sweet tea in a restaurant...it all comes unsweet and you have to add sugar to it.

The whole food experience in the south is not just about gravy and grease, it's how we show love. When someone dies, we bake that family a cake. When someone gives birth, we cook that family supper so the new mama doesn't have to worry about it. If it's your birthday, we are gonna have a barbecue for you. Whatever the situation, we are gonna feed you so you know that we love you.

I think this is going to big one of the biggest changes I will have to soon face. I need to learn how to show love without food. More importantly, I will need to know that I am still loved without someone feeding me.

Walmart and Halloween

Actually, when I think about it, everyday could qualify as Halloween in Walmart. But, for today's purpose I am actually talking about the real Halloween....or at least the candy part of it.

I usually do my grocery shopping over the weekend, but this week I am fall break (or as I call it "save teacher sanity week"). I decided I would wait until Monday to do my grocery shopping, in hopes that it would be a little less crazy on a boring Monday...I was wrong. Anyway, by this time of  the year I have usually stored up on 5 or 6 bags of Halloween candy and would buy a few more each week until Halloween. This year I have none. I have not bought one single bag of the chocolate crack because I can't trust myself around it.

Chocolate is my thing...well almost anything with sugar in it. Once I get banded I don't have to worry so much about chocolate because I just won't bring it on the house. Neither the Rockstar (baby daddy) or the Boy care for chocolate, so it's a no brainer. However, they do like to partake in some other other various crack happy foods....snack cakes, cookies, poptarts, etc. Neither one of them have even an ounce to lose. Thye are supportive of me...but not enough to give up their own junk food.

How do y'all deal with the temptation still being all around you???

The internet is the devil!

My surgery is exactly 3 weeks from tomorrow. I thought I was feeling pretty good about it...until this weekend. You see, I am one of those kind of people who can read something about an illness, syndrome, etc. and swear I will get it. Doesn't matter what it is....brain tumor, appendicitis, swine flu, testicular cancer...I swear that I will get it, even when I know I don't have testes.

So, this weekend I started reading about things that can go wrong with lap band surgery.....BAD idea. Now, I have myself scared to death that all of these will happen to me.

I think I should just go back to blog stalking y'all....it makes me feel much better about my decision.

Help!

Ok, so I am new to this whole blogging thing and I need help. I have tried commenting on several blogs and I can't...I don't know what I am doing wrong. I have commented on a few, but it won't let me on some. Help.....please :-)

Big Ass Barbie

Since a few of you have commented on the blog name and assumed that I love Barbies, I thought I would tell you how the name came about. I mentioned that I am a special ed teacher, but what I didn't tell ya is that I teach behavior disordered and emotionally disturbed kiddos. Although I love these "misunderstood" teenagers, I will tell you that it is imperative to have thick skin if you are around them long....they do NOT mind (and sometimes take pleasure in) hurting your feelings. They will talk about your weight, clothes, hair, and anything else they think may possibly offend you when the mood strikes them. So a couple of weeks ago one of these lovely children was in a mood...and I don't mean a good one. He had said something negative about everyone in the class. He frequently calls my assistant Mr. Potato Head....my assistant is bald by choice, but he does not particularly like to called Mr. Potato Head. If you let these kids know that they have pushed your buttons you might as well take the rest of the day off...because they will keep pushing those buttons like it is their paying job. On this particular day my assistant ignored his potato head references and the kid decided to move on to bigger and better subjects...meaning me. I don't really remember the names he called me at first, as I was ignoring him. Then, he said "I know what your name should be...it should be Big Ass Barbie!" Well, he meant it as insult...but I threw my head back and just laughed and laughed. Then I looked at him with the biggest smile on face and said "awwww, you think I look like Barbie???" So, when I started this blog I was still overjoyed that one of my kids thought I looked like Barbie (even if it was Big Ass Barbie). I wanted the name Lap Band Barbie...but it wasn't available. So, I settled for Rockband Barbie...and that's how this Barbie came about :-)

Feeling the love :-)

So, I send Lap Band Gal one little email and poof...I have followers! That girl must have some pull...maybe I should ask for winning lottery numbers next :-)

I have a date now! No, not the hot sexy buy me dinner kind, but the life changing make me sexy kind. My surgery is scheduled for November 7th. I am nervous, happy, scared, excited, and a little freaked out...all at the same time. I haven't told many people that I getting the band. Not because I care if people know, but moreso because I don't go around randomly telling people about any other health issues I have, so I figured why would this be any different. I am telling all of you because blog stalking some of you is what helped me to make my decision.

So a little bit about me...I am 41 years old. I have two boys, one is grown and the other thinks he is. I am a Special Ed teacher and have been for 14 years. My mother is my best friend. I have two toy poodles that I call my babies (we don't use the d-o-g word in this house).

I haven't always been fat. I was actually a very normal weight until the last decade or so. My weight has been a real roller coaster since then. I was hospitalized last year in ICU for what they deemed "malignant hypertension." I knew I had high blood pressure, but once my cardiologist referred to it as "malignant" it somehow seemed a lot scarier. My blood pressure is still uncontrolled. I have been to every kind of doctor you can imagine...cardiologist, endocrinologist, hypertension specialist...you name it, I have seen them. So, the common theme among all of these doctors was drugs, drugs and more drugs. They all said "you need to lose weight...you just eat less and move more"....well if it was that easy don't you think I would save myself a buttload of money on all of these doctors visits and drugs and just do that??? I feel like I am in a vicious cycle right now...the higher my bp the more drugs they add. The more drugs they add, the less I feel like moving. The less I move the more I gain. The more I gain, the higher my bp goes...and the cycle continues. So, here I am...ready to get out of this vicious cycle and get rid of some of these drugs.

Approved!!!!

I got a call from my surgeon's office this afternoon....my insurance has approved!!!! Although it was a six month long process before it was submitted, the insurance actually approved in less than a week :-) I call to get the date tomorrow! Woot woot...I am excited...and a little nervous.

So today is my very first post...yay me! I have been blog stalking many people for quite some time now as I was contemplating getting banded. Well, since it no longer a contemplation I figured I should stop stalking all of you and just join you. I am a blogging virgin, so be gentle with me :-)