Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Whiny Butt Wednesday

I have not been in the best of moods today. As you know, I do not weigh myself every day. Sometimes once a week...sometimes longer. I have not lost any weight in since I weighed 10 days ago. WTF???? OK, I am not going to freak about it and say "omg, is this where my body is going to stay...what if I don't lose any more I failing at this??" No people, I won't say all of that. out loud

For some reason I have been very emotional this week. Unfortunately, The Rockstar has to deal with my shit on my whiny butt days. He made me cry....ok he didn't "make" me cry...but one of 27 multiple personalities took over and the tears flowed. Here is what he said to me (not all at the same time, but throughout the day)

What he said: Your pants are so baggy I bet you are fitting in just fine with your students
What he meant: You have lost so much weight you need to buy some new pants
What I heard: You have a big ghetto ass

What he said: Our bed is really squeaky now...mostly on your side...hahaha
What he meant: We have worn the bed out from all that freaking we do on that side...time to get a new one
What I heard: Your fat ass has worn the mattress out

What he said: I went to grab your boob and I got was a handful of bra
What he meant: You have lost so much weight that you need to buy some new sexy bras
What I heard: You have saggy boobs and should be the president of the itty bitty titty committee

Yes, I do realize how completely absurd that sounds now, but in the moment that is exactly what I heard. I am over it now and shall perhaps end my "whiny" day with a "winey" night.

In unrelated news, I am taking the day off tomorrow...we shall call it a mental health day :)

Friday, February 24, 2012


Okay - it's Friday - which means it's time for BYOC. Bring Your Own Crazy!

This week Draz dipped into the family reserves (2 daughters and Rambo) and asked them what they'd like to ask you guys.

#1 comes from Rambo....
1. If you were going to scratch your ass in public, which cheek would you start with?

 I would just do both at the same time...'cause I'm a multi tasker like that
#2 comes from Watermelon (11 yr. old)

2. If you were a fashion designer, what's the first item of clothing you'd design for yourself and why.
Since I love me some flip flops, that would probably be the first thing. I like 'em cute, girly, and blinged out.#3 is from Drazil herself.
3. Remember last week when I told you to describe yourself in 5 positive words? This week - turn to your family or anyone next to you and ask them to describe you in 5 words and LISTEN to their answers.
The Rockstar's words:


The Boy's words:


My mama's words:


My Bff's Words

 #4 is a repeat question and she’s only doing 4 questions today since #3 is kinda long-ish.
4. Summarize your week in blog land and in real life.

Blogland is getting on my nerves with this word verification. I couldn't even begin to tell ya how many times I get it wrong on the first try (and sometimes second too). It is annoying. I have also noticed that more people blog during the day than at night. I can't blog during the day since I am at work...well I could, but Lucifer has made it very clear that anything we do on the schools computer is open for her viewing pleasure.

Real life has been great with the exception of Monday when I had that nasty virus. The last two days at work were great! Most of my students are either locked up, suspended, or got put out this week (to an alternative school). I didn't have more than 2 students in any class today.

Thursday, February 23, 2012

Ten Things Thursday

It's Ten Things Thursday...brought to us by the fabulous Laura Belle!

1. I was so sick earlier this week (Monday to be exact). I had one of those nasty kinda viruses where you aren't sure which end to put on the toilet. I didn't eat a bite for two days. I knew better than to weigh myself because I would just get all excited about a big loss only for it to come back the second I took a sip of water.

2. I waited until today to weigh (I don't have an "official" weigh in day) and I am now at a 36 pound loss...woot, woot.

3. I have not eaten any chocolate since Sunday. I think that's like a record for me.'s only because I had been sick, but's still some kinda record for me.

4. I had a fabulous day today. 1st block was only 20 minutes long due to an assembly. 2nd block I didn't have any kids show up (absent, suspended,...skipping?). 3rd block is my planning period. 4th block on Thursdays a counselor comes in to talk to the kids and I have to leave the room (so they are "free" to say what they wanna, yeah, ok). So, it was a drama free, easy, breezy, beautiful covergirl kinda day.

5. I saw this on facebook today. I don't think I wanna eat here.

6. Since I will be changing jobs my insurance will be changing. I have no idea what this means for me as far as getting fills. I am assuming I will probably have to pay for them now. Anybody else had this situation where your insurance changed after surgery??

7. This has become my favorite lunch...Jack in the Box Grilled Chicken Strips. 243 calories and 43g of protein. This is really the only fast food I have had since surgery, but I think it's a great choice.

8. I received a letter yesterday telling me I had been elected to membership for Phi Kappa Phi. Only the top 7.5 percent of Graduate students are selected to be in this Honor Society. I felt a little smart for just a minute.

9. Grey's Anatomy tonight...woot, woot

10. I am 40 days clean and sober from the Dew!

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

If you don't create change, change will create you

I started packing some of my things at work today so I don't have so much to pack at once on my last day (12 working days left!) As I packed I ran across things I have had for the entire 14 years I have been teaching. It made me reflect on how things have changed over the last 14 years.

When I first started teaching I loved my job. I loved my co-workers, I loved my kids....I loved me. I'm not sure exactly when things started to change but it was most likely the day Lucifer became my boss but at some point I no longer liked my job, rarely even spoke to co workers, viewed my students as a job, and certainly no longer liked the person I had become. I can certainly pinpoint my health declining and weight increasing to the time that the changes occurred.

I let change create me, instead of me creating change. I would be lying if I said I'm not a little bit scared about starting a new job. Will my new kids like me? Will my new co workers like me? Will I be a fabulous teacher again like I used to be?? I don't know the answers to these questions, but I am excited about the change.

This time I am creating the change, instead of letting the change create me.

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

New Bander Alert!

There's a new bander. Sarah was just banded last week. Swing by and show her some love candyncarbsdivorce

Sunday, February 19, 2012

How can I get a restraining order???

I need to know how I can get a restarining order. I have stalkers. I was out and about yesterday and my stalkers were right there at every single place I went. They were lurking right by the doors when I went in, and still there when I came out. Yes, it's true....those damn Girl Scouts are stalking me!

I had to go to Urgent Care (I had Thrush...wth???) which is right beside Food Lion....they were there. Next, I went to Wal mart to grocery shop....they were there. After grocery shopping I went to pick up my prescriptions at the pharmacy...they were there. Finally, I went to a different grocery store (for an item Wally world doesn't carry), AND....yep, you guess it, they were there too!!! All day long those little cookie terrorists stalked me...and I didn't come home with even one single box :)

Friday, February 17, 2012

Ask me no questions, I'll tell you no lies

Remember me telling you I got a new job?? Well, I don't start until next month, but I had to go start "in processing" today. My new job is teaching on a military base...and those military people are all business.

It has been years since I have been on base. Quite frankly, I had forgotten what a pain it is to even get on base. I remembered that you had to have your license, registration, and proof of insurance, so I already had those items ready to hand to them.

 I drove in the main gate and just thought I could bee-bop my way right through. Wrong. I drove up to the cute (but very manly) Military Police (MP). I handed him my stack of stuff and he looked at me like I was crazy. He said "Ma'am, do you have a visitors pass?" I flashed him my big blue eyes, smiled my "flirty smile" at him and in my best southern belle accent said "well no, I thought you would give me one??"...then I batted my eyes a few more times. His response "Negative"...then he proceeded to yell to the other Mp's "hold up traffic, we have another one!" So four lanes of traffic was held up so they could let me turn around and drive over to the visitors center, where evidently, they expected me to go before I EVER attempted to get on base. Apparently, big blue eyes, flirty smiles, and a deep southern accent does not let you break the rules on a military base...damn, I am already in trouble.

At the visitors center there were 5,763 about 10 people in front of me. I HATE to wait in lines. Finally, after hours ten minutes, it was my turn. I walked up the rude, stone faced, no personality nice lady behind the counter. Those military people are nosey effers...he is how our conversation went down...

Lady: (without ever looking up from her computer) Can I help you?

Me: Yes ma'am... I need a visitors pass please.

Lady: (still not looking up) OK. I need your license, registration, and proof of insurance.

(I hand her the stuff)

Lady: What is your s.s. number?

Me: ###-##-####

Lady: (still hasn't looked up) Ok. What color is your <make of car>?

Me: White

Lady: What is your date of birth?

Me: ('s right there on my license, just look!) ##/##/####

Lady: What is your destination today?

Me: (thinking, finally...she is trying to be friendly now and strike up a conversation) XYZ School. I am going to be working there!! I am so excited! I am going there today to...

Lady: (rudely interrupting me, clearly not wanting to start a conversation...and still not looking up) How long will you need this pass?

Me: (confused look on face) maybe a couple of hours???

Lady: (with a "you are a dumb blonde" look on her face) I mean do you need it only for today??

Me: Umm, yes. I guess when I have to come back they will...

Lady: (again, rudely interrupting me) What color is your hair?

Me: (with a look of "can't you effing look at it or my license that is right in front of you and tell???" and why in the hell do y'all ask so many questions??) Ummm....blonde,very blonde.

Lady: How much do you weigh?

Me: (with a look of shock and horror on face) Whooooaaaa missy...don't ya think that's a little personal??

Lady: (STILL has not looked up) Ma'am, I am required to ask, it's nothing personal towards you.

Me: Are you required to check for accuracy??

Lady: No ma'am

Me: Well in that case.... 115 (then I threw my head back and just laughed and laughed)

Lady: (FINALLY looks up, lowers her glasses on the bridge of her nose, looks me up and down...awkward pause)

Me: What???? I'm dressed in adds a few pounds. (Flash flirty smile and bat big blue eyes again)

Lady: Here's your pass.

Moral of the story: Ask me no questions, and I'll tell ya no lies :)

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Love today....big ass tomorrow

Happy Valentine's Day!!! I hope even you Valentine's Day haters had a fabulous day.

I love, love, love Valentine's day! I always have. I love hearts. I love candy. I love chocolate. I love flowers. I love Cupid. I love chocolate. I love cutesy cards. I love chocolate. I love the color red. I love chocolate. I love the color pink. Did I mention I love chocolate??? I love love.

Unfortunately, all that lovin may show up on my ass tomorrow.

My day started off with this...white chocolate covered strawberries. Given to me by my assistant :)

I made these for my students...and of course I thought I should enjoy one each class period along with my students.

And then my lovely Bobby Hill gave me this...

When I got home The Rockstar gave me a lovely heart diamond necklace and this...

For dinner we went to Red worries there. I hate seafood. I took The Rockstar there because he LOVES seafood, but rarely gets it since mama don't likey. Of course after all the trash I ate today, I wasn't hungry anyway.

So there ya have it. I ate like crap today and I loved it.  I know I will pay for it, but (in my best Scarlet O'Hara voice)  I can't think about that right now. If I do, I'll go crazy. I'll think about that tomorrow.

Monday, February 13, 2012

Make a list Monday!

Thanks to the fabulous Robyn we have Make A List Monday!

The category for Make A List Monday is: You are forced to use the 10 items or less line at the grocery store and can only go to the store once a week.  What will be in your cart?

Here is my list:
I have to assume that my family would have to make their own shopping trip...these 10 items are only taking myself into consideration.

1. Bottled water. I take 4 bottles of water to work with me each day and then usually drink one or two more at home each day. So, needless to say, I go through a lot of bottled water each week.

2. Special K Protein Meal Bars. I eat these almost every work day for breakfast.

3. Chicken. I eat chicken almost every day. I feel sure I am going to start growing feathers soon.

4. String cheese. It's quick and convenient for a snack.

5. Bananas. I love bananas.

6. Purity Chocolate Milk. For all you non-southerners who just don't know....Purity is da bomb!!!

7. Toilet paper....did you see all that water I drink??

8. Ground beef.

9. Chocolate...yes, I know this isn't the best thing for me to eat. Chocolate is one thing that I have not given up since being banded (and won't). I usually only eat one Dove Milk Chocolate square a day...but that one piece is NEEDED for my emotional health :)

10. Sweet potatoes. I love plain baked sweet potatoes.

Friday, February 10, 2012


It’s Friday and that means it’s time for BYOC! Bring Your Own Crazy! We answer 5 questions in an effort to get to know each other better and to give our blogging brains a break.

1. Name a Valentine gift you would NOT want to receive.
An adding machine. I know this because that is what The Rockstar gave me 14 years ago for VD. I was a math teacher at the time, so in his mind it was a very useful and thoughtful gift. I have not let him live that down in 14 years....and probably won't ever.

2. What’s your vacation personality? Do you act/eat/talk/do things differently or completely opposite from when you are not on vacation?

I don't want to be on any kind of time schedule when I am on vacation. If I am driving (rather than flying) I stop whenever I feel like stopping...again , no kinda time schedule. I also eat whatever I want when I am on vacation. I am a picky eater, so I can't say that I get adventurous and try new things to eat...cause I almost never do that. I certainly don't talk any different...I couldn't get rid of this southern twang if I tried.

3. Describe yourself in 5 POSITIVE words.
Open minded (I guess that counts as two words??)

4. Do you have any phobias or irrational fears or dislikes?
I am crazy scared of the dentist, the dark, and bugs/spiders. I also dislike green foods.

5. Repeat question: Summarize your week in blog land and in real life.

I haven't been reading as many blogs this week because I have been busy at work and haven't had much time to be on my phone. I try to catch up on them when I get home, but that doesn't always go so well.

Real life has been exciting. I officially accepted the new job and submitted my resignation today. I am required to give a 30 day notice (or they could have my teaching license suspended) so my last day will be March 9th (because the 30th day falls on a Sunday. I will start the new position on March 12th.

Thursday, February 9, 2012

Ten Things Thursday!!!

It's Thursday!!!! Thanks to that beautiful Laura Belle we have 10 things Thursday!!

1. 26 years ago today I met my first true love. He was bald, naked, and wrinkled...and I fell in love instantly. It is hard to believe my baby is that old...that means I am old!!

2. The day I delivered I weighed

3.  Guess what????? Remember the job interview I had last week??? Today I was offered the job!!!!! There are a few things I have to check on, but I am 99.9% positive I am going to accept the position.

4.  Have you ever seen the movie Dangerous Minds? Well that's the kind of kids I teach now (actually they are more dangerous)...only I am NOT Michelle Pfeiffer. I miss the kids I used to teach. This is what those kids were like...

5.  I am mad that winter is almost over and we have only had 1 freaking snow day.

6.  I have totally been hungry since my fill last week...what's up with that?? I thought it would help me feel less hungry. They can have that .5 cc's back if this is what it's gonna be like.

7.  I totally don't get the whole "planking" thing that teenagers do. What is the point of it??? How did it even start?? This is how...

8. Some days I just wanna eat a big ole bowl of cereal for dinner...but I don't. I actually don't even keep cereal in my house any more.

9. Valentine's Day is one of my favorite holidays. It's all about love and chocolate...what could be better??

10. I am 26 days clean and sober from the Dew.

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

3 Month Bandiversary

Three months ago today I was banded. I haven't regretted it, not even one time. There certainly are days I have been when the scale doesn't move. Or when I really want to eat a big ole piece of cornbread. Or when I have to pee 5, 672 times a day. But not one time has that frustration turned into a regret.

Here are some things that I have not eaten in 3 months:

French Fries (haven't missed them)
Sandwiches (I do miss a good grilled cheese)
Rice (oh man, fried rice I do miss you)
Steak (never really ate much any way)
Biscuits (I miss this the most)
Cornbread (you know a southern girl like me misses this!)
Cereal (doing fine without it)
Poptarts ( yum...but I have been fine without it)
Cake (hasn't bothered me a bit)
Eat fast food (I think Chick Fil A still has the missing poster of me up)

I'm sure there are many more, but those are the ones that instantly popped in my head. I have only had 1 Mountain Dew in 3 months...I deserve some kinda award for this one. And yes, I do miss it...every day.

Here are some things I do every day now...

Drink at least 64 ounces of water (most days it's closer to 100)
Track every bite that goes in my mouth (had never done this before)
Think about what I am going to eat (ate whatever I wanted before)
Stay up from morning till night without a nap (weekends don't me a Sunday afternoon nap)

I wish I could say I am off all meds...but I don't think that is going to happen any time soon. Yet, I still have no regrets.


Thursday, February 2, 2012

Interview, Fill, and Fabulosity

 I just got done with my interview and I think I totally rocked it. It was a phone interview. Kinda cool to do an interview in my big butt sweats with my hair thrown up on top of my head. I also liked the fact that I could have my little cheat sheet right in front of me of things that sounded really smart to say :) Unfortunately the principal who interviewed me does not have the ultimate say so over who gets the position. The position is on a military base. He only gives his top 3 recommendations and sends those to the "higher ups"...they make the ultimate decision. I may not hear anything for up to two weeks.
My doctor's appt. was fabulous. I like their scale better than my own. My scale shows a 30 pound loss, theirs showed a 33 pound loss....woot, woot...I am going with their scale. I got a fill of .5, which brings me up to 5.5cc's. Today was the first time I did it under the fluro. It was way cool to see the band and the liquid going down. I just have to tell ya though, I was a little freaked out having to stand up with that big ole needle stickin' out of me. They (there were 3 people in the room) were even kind enough to point out my big ole bra hooks on the xray....damn, if I had known so many people were gonna be looking at my unmentionables I would have worn my sexy bra instead of my cafeteria lady bra.

My second dr's appt wasn't as great. My hypertension specialist still won't release me to exercise...yet. My bp was 155/104. That is way better than it was 6 months ago, but still pretty sucky considering I am on a dozen (for real) medications. He said I had to have another stress test before he would release me. I can't even do the treadmill stress test...they make me do the chemical one...and it sucks. He did say I could take I will check into that. Any way...I don't care what he said...I am feeling so fabulous today that he ain't gonna rain on my fabuloisty parade :)

Peace out :)

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Ms. Wooty in da house

First things first. I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow, actually two of them. My first appointment is with the surgeon and nutrionist. I really don't know if I need a fill or not. I could eat more than a cup of food if I wanted, but I don't...and I do get hungry a couple of hours after eating, but I make myself wait. I think I may need a little somethin' somethin...we shall see. My second appt. is with my hypertension specialist. I really, really, really hope he will release me to exercise. I have so much hope that he will that I have already signed up to start taking a Zumba class.

Today my little Bobby Hill (actually he is NOT little at all) gave me yet another name. I had my back turned to the class because I was writing on the board. He started calling me Ms. Wooty. Every time I asked him a question or said anything to him he would say "ok, Ms. Wooty....yes, Ms. Wooty..." Now, normally I don't even entertain his name calling, especially since I don't think anything will ever top "bigass Barbie", but my curiosity got the best of me and I finally had to ask him why he kept calling me Ms. Wooty. His reply: because you are a Wooty. I asked "ok I probably don't even want to know...but what is a Wooty??? His reply... "White girl with a booty"

Wonderful....just wonderful. I am a wooty.

In unrelated wooty news....I have another job interview tomorrow. I still haven't heard back from the one last week. The one for tomorrow called my job today for a reference...I really didn't want them to know I was actively looking for another job. Oh well, the cat is out of the bag now.