Puke in a purse and out of the banded closet

Nobody at my old job knew that I was banded. It wasn't because I was ashamed of it in any way...it was more so because I didn't discuss any aspect of my personal life at work. I went to work, did my job, and came home...the end. All of my friends from work had enough sense to leave that place before I did, and I was no longer "friends" with any one in the building.

When I started my new job I wondered how and if I would tell people about the band.

Let me tell ya a little story about what happened last week...

My class goes on a field trip every week so the kids get "community experience". Last week we went to the hospital to eat lunch in the cafeteria. I really had no idea what was offered in their cafeteria, but I figured it would be fine. Not the case. I made a very poor choice.

It seemed like everything they had was either breaded, contained bread, or had pasta in it...I thought hospitals were supposed to be about getting you healthy?? I chose a piece of pizza that had very thin crust. I ate about about 1/4 of it. Everything felt fine. Here's where the bad choice occurred....I ate a couple of bites of a piece of pie. No go. Not happening. No way, no how was it going down. I excused myself to the restroom and discreetly tried to get it up...and I thought I did.

We got back in the van and I thought well at least we are headed back to the school in case I need to go to the bathroom again. Wrong. My assistant decided we had plenty of time and I needed a full tour of the base. Great. He's playing tour guide while I am sitting in the back of the van ready to choke on my own slime.

I was super stuck. I felt like I was about to birth a slime baby. Panic set in. What was I going to do...I was in a van full of my students and new co workers...if I yelled for them to pull over and puked on the side of the road I would have scared the kids to death.

Thank the Lord I had read in somebody's blog (I wish I could remember who) to always be prepared with a bag and wipes/napkins in my purse. I discreetly opened my purse just in time...I birthed a slime baby without making a peep. I was in the back of the van. Nobody saw except the kid next to me...and she is non verbal.

So for the next 20 minutes I had a purse full of slime. Gross. Double gross.

I knew I had to tell my co-workers, but I had no idea how I would bring it up. Then, today the magic banded closet door opened and I came out. One of my assistants had a pamphlet on her desk about lap band. I asked her if she was banded. She isn't, but she said she was thinking very seriously about it...and then I just blurted it out..."I was banded 4 months ago"

I don't usually like to just throw all my business out in the street...but today I'm glad I did :)