Monday, August 6, 2012

Watch out for the flying poop

Today was the first day back with kids. One of the things I like about having the same kids for several years in a row is that you really get to see how they grow and mature over the course of those years. I was excited about switching from high school to middle school because I would no longer be the shortest kid in class (I am only 5 ft tall). So this year I am still not the shortest one in class, but I am certainly not the tallest either. What the heck are these parents feeding these kids??? Some of them grew nearly a foot over the summer.

So I got several new kids, up from the elementary school and/or transfers. Now remember I am a special ed teacher, which means it is not uncommon at all for me to have to deal with drool, poopy diapers, nonverbal kiddos, and some pretty quirky and at times, even disgusting behaviors. I read each student's IEP (education plan for the year) before the school year, but trust me...it doesn't tell you everything ya need to know.

Before 9 am I had been kicked, slapped, bit, and pinched. This stuff was in the IEP...so I wasn't too surprised, but I did think I would get a little bit of honeymoon period before he showed out. Nope. Didn't happen.

This oh so sweet child started smelling a little stinky, so I sent one of aides to take him to the bathroom. I told one of the other aides to go too, in case help was needed. Less than 5 minutes later she came running back in my room and said "hurry, call for a custodian in the bathroom!" Apparently, this angel baby pooped in the potty (yay...not in the pull up) but then proceeded to stand up and quickly grab what he had produced and threw it at the aides!!!!

Thank God they both have quick reflexes. They ducked. The shit hit the fan (ok, really it was the wall, but that was funnier...I crack myself up).

Really people...I think I should get hazard pay. It certainly won't be a boring year.

In unrealted news, I am officially back on a schedule. I have routine back in my life. Greek yogurt for breakfast, Chicken breast and side salad for lunch, and 4 bottles of water. Now if I can just remember how I fit all those potty breaks into my schedule.

19 comments:

Ashlee . said...

Wow! You have my respect for being able to work with kids. And not only that, but special kids. I can't even handle being around teenagers for goodness' sake.

But routine is good! I need to get myself a routine. :)

♫ Drazil ♪ said...

OMG - you and Rambo could trade stories!

Vanessa said...

Thats gross -no way I could do that job - poo makes me gag!

tz said...

I had a patient deliberately try to pee on me...and I've dealt with a lot of poop, but not flying poop....you so win!

Theresa Foley said...

ugh.. when I was working before the baby, I had a patient who everytime she wad in the hospital wiped poop all over herself, good times...

Z said...

God bless the special ed teachers!

i can't wait for my routine to start...ssshhh don't tell the other teachers i said that!

Cruisegirl81 said...

Wow.. No way. Keeps life a little interesting, and we get to benefit from all the stories!
Rock that routine sista!

Gi said...

Wow that is full on! Special Ed teachers are wonderful, the work you do is great and you deserve so much credit!

Glad your routine is back :)
xx

Cheri said...

Thank goodness you can laugh. And that you have aides. :-)

Glad you are thriving with a routine, too!

trishajo said...

ditto to what Z said - GOD BLESS you for taking on that hard and unappreciative role of teaching SPED!!

Glad you're rockin the routine again chicka!!! ;)

Amy said...

Before I was a SPED teacher, I worked in a child psych center. I can sympathize with the whole poo thing. I once had it speared on the wall of the "time out room" - and written in it, "FUCK YOU MISS AMI." My only response, "First of all, I spell Amy with a "y" and not an "i". Second of all, here's the cleaner."

Sam said...

I'd agree about the hazard pay :p you are obviously a very special person to do your job sp well :o)

jennxaz said...

um thank god for aides! yikes!

Ronnie said...

*shudder* I'm sorry your honeymoon period didn't happen. Yay for being back on a schedule! :D

vickyd said...

You definitely deserve hazard pay...but as a parent of a child with special needs I have to say how much I appreciate everything that teachers like you do for our kids...it means more than you can ever imagine.

Run, Chelle, Run! said...

Yay for getting the routine on, and also major props for being a special ed teacher. People like you make the world a better place!

~Miss Lorie~ said...

This sounds exactly like my school days:) Gotta love it! My kids come back Aug. 22 and I'm excited for routine and all the surprises.

Sarah said...

I vote for duck tape him into the pull up and let him sit in it if he is going to treat people like that. No way in Heaven did that kid not know that was very very naughty!
Thank goodness for the aides with quick reflexes and that kid had poor aim. Yuck.

adorkbl said...

wow... you deserve hazard pay for sure. And yay for getting back to a schedule! :)