Happy Halloween!!

One week from today I will be banded!!!!

Today has been filled with temptation...cupcakes, candy, cookies, sex with hot men. Ok, maybe the last one was a lie...but all the others were in my face most of the day. Although my doctor didn't require a pre op diet I have been doing one anyway.  That cupcake looked so good today I just wanted to sniff it, touch it, lick it...oh wait, that was the hot teacher down the hall. I am so proud of my self...I resisted (the cupcake and the teacher :-)

I will be glad when today is over. The first few trick or treaters might just end up with their bags full so I can get rid of it early and be done with it. This is what has been in my house for the last week and I have not touched it...

BYOC

It’s Friday and time for BYOC – Bring Your Own Crazy! A couple of questions we answer to get to know each other better and to give our blogging brains a break. Copy to your own blog and enjoy!


1. When did you begin blogging? Do you plan to do it a long time or do you think you’ll stop after a while?

Just a few weeks ago. I plan to do it a long time, but I have commitment issues...so maybe.

2.  What do you enjoy more - blogging yourself or reading other’s blogs?

Reading other people's blogs for sure. I have learned so much from reading blogs and it is what really helped me make my decision to be banded. Maybe I will enjoy the writing part more when I have more to say other than how I have till I am banded.

3.  What’s the biggest thing blogging has taught you? Biggest surprise about blogging?

Before I started blogging I realized from all of y'all how supportive you were of each other...and I thought "I want that!" The biggest surprise has been how funny some of y'all are...you crack me up :-)

4.  Have you met any other bloggers in real life – solely because of your blog or theirs?

No, but I would love to!!

5.  Does your blog have a general theme as in one topic or do you cover everything and anything?

Well since I am new to it I can't say that I have a theme other than getting banded.

6.  Are you public or anonymous? Whichever you are – do you ever wish you were the other?

I’m anonymous for the most part. I don't use my name, but it's no big secret where I am from and my picture is on here. I have been thinking about taking the picture off. If it weren't for my job I wouldn't care about being totally public.

7.  What’s your best blogging advice for a new blogger?

I am a new blogger...so what's your advice for me???

8.  Does anyone in your real life read your blog/know it’s address? Do you wish they would or wouldn’t?
My bff knows about it, but I don't know if she has read it...I just gave her the address the other day and haven't talked to her since then. The Rockstar and The Boy know I blog, but they don't know the address, nor do I think they would be interested in reading it unless they thought I had posted something juicy about them.

9.  Do you enjoy blogging or do you view it as a chore? How often do you blog?

So far I have enjoyed it. I read them everyday, but I don't post everyday.

10.  Do you tell people in your real life that you blog? Or keep it a secret?

I keep it on the down low. 
***************************************************

First Time Ten Things Thursday

Ok, so this is my first Ten Things Thursday. I'm not sure if there are any "rules" about the ten things, or if it's just random...so mine are just random. Here ya go:

1. I have a slight obsession with flip flops. I hate socks and shoes, so I will wear flip flops until it's so cold my feet are turning pretty shades blue. It is 50 degrees and rainy here today...and yes, I have on flip flops.

2. I am the kinda person who tries to play mind tricks on myself by always having my alarm clock 10 minutes ahead....of course my mind is not tricked and I continue to oversleep... often.

3. It bugs me if I have an uneven number of friends on facebook.

4. I can't seem to get away from men/boys. I am the only girl in my house. Most of my students are boys. I work in a small wing of the school with all males. Needless to say most of the laughter I hear revolves around someone's bodily functions.

5. My toenails are painted all year long, even in  the winter when noone sees them but me. I love to get a pedicure!!

6. I am a very picky eater and I don't like to try new foods.

7. My high school guidance counselor told me not to worry about taking the ACT because I wasn't really college material. I am currently working on my Doctorate...guess she was wrong.

8. I accidentally sent one of my professors some funny Halloween porn yesterday. Her name is right above one of my bff's in my contact list. I didn't realize I had clicked on the wrong person until it was too late...oopsie.

9. Mountain Dew is my liquid crack. I have no idea how I will break that addiction when I am banded.

10. I will be banded in exactly 11 days.

Two weeks from today!!!

Two weeks from this very moment I will be banded!! My surgeon doesn't require a pre op diet (except for the day before) but I decided I would try it any way. It wasn't difficult at all to do today because I was too busy to even think about food. We had 15 teachers and 5 assistants out today...apparently the 10 day fall break just wasn't enough for them. I'm not hatin'...if it weren't for the fact that I am going to burn up 7 sick days for the pre op appointments, surgery, and post op appointment then I would have been tempted to call in sick too.

I told my kiddos today that in 2 weeks I would be out for a week. They asked why and I told them I was having some surgery...then quickly went into the expectations of them while I was gone. I did that because they needed to hear my expectations, but even more so, I didn't want to give them time to ask me any questions.

I have only told one person at work about getting banded. I told another teacher who is getting banded the week after me. We started this process about the same time. She told me last week that she is having a different procedure than me...she is getting the band with plication. I told I was shocked that our insurance covered that since it was relatively new. She proceeded to tell me that our insurance didn't cover it, her surgeon was doing the plication part free of charge. Sounds fishy?? Yeah it did to me too. Come to find out he is doing it for free...not out of the goodness of his heart, but because he is involved in a study on the procedure. Guess how many of these he has done??? Only 1!!! I am scared for her, but it's her decision and I will support her just as she supports me.

As I blogstalked reasearched about the band I frequently went to the very beginning of people's blogs. I wanted to know what everyone else had to do get approved, as well as what I could expect on the big day and immediately after. So just so you know, if I follow you and you started blogging before your surgery, chances are pretty good that I took the time to read your journey the whole way through (stalk much??? umm, yeah I do).

So I decided just in case there is some other stalker researcher out there who is looking for the same thing I would tell you what I had to do pre approval:

• Information seminar
• Nutrition education class
• Butt load of blood work (I thought for sure I would need a transfusion when they were done)
• Letter of recommendation from my PCP
• Attend a support group meeting
• Nutrition assessment with Dietitian
• Six month medical weight loss program (I actually didn't have to do anything for this since I had monthly documented evidence of doctor visits...he always mentioned nutrition/diet in his notes because I was on a low sodium diet for malignant hypertension)
• 5 year weight history (my surgeon was afraid that this would get me a denial since 3 years ago I was not considered obese...but he was confident we could appeal it based on my health conditions)
• Psychological evaluation
• Cardiac clearance from my Cardiologist (this didn't require much because I had a stress test as well as an arteriogram within the last year)
• Sleep study (which led to a lovely CPAP machine)
• Endoscopy (I have Barrett's esophagus and my surgeon won't do the band on people with Barrett's if they have dysplasia...thank goodness I didn't)
• Pap smear (wtf??? I don't want the surgeon any where near that end. My surgeon didn't require this, but my PCP wouldn't give me clearance without it since it had been 5 years)

Whew!!! By the end of that I felt like I had been poked, prodded, invaded, and a little violated...but hopefully, it will all be worth it.

Awesome Makeover!!!

The blog fairy came my way...and look what a fabulous job she did!!! Big, big thanks to Jen for the amazing makeover. She rocks!!!

Turn that frown upside down

Today I was having a bad self image day. I always do at the change of seasons when I have to find something that will fit over my big ass (and all other big parts). I was having a pity party for most of the day.

 Since I am on fall break I would have normally just sat around in my sweats and not left the house for the day, but I couldn't do that today. You see, The Boy (my baby) is in the band and he is a senior. Tonight was not only senior night, but it was also the very last time I would see my baby march on that field.

During senior night all seniors are escorted on the field by their parents and recognized. I didn't WANT to be recgnized...I was feeling fat, old, and way less than pretty. He is my baby, so I just had to suck it up and get over myself.

Just before we walked on the field the principal gave the seniors a flower to present to their mother. Now, I have to tell ya...The Boy almost never gives any kind of compliment. So when he does, you know he means it (or he's trying to get money). Just after they recognized him over the speaker he handed me the flower and said "This is for the most beautiful woman in the world."

The pity party has been canceled.

The Fat South

Did you know that Tennessee was the 4th fattest state in the US?? Me neither until this past summer when I attended the informational weight loss surgery seminar...but I am not at all surprised. Here in the south we mean business when we eat.

Here in the south we like our food fried and smothered in gravy. We will literally flour and fry just about anything...chicken, pickles, Twinkies...you name it, we can fry it up. We are all about some biscuits and cornbread. Did you know that "Crack"er Barrel originated right here in Tennessee?? Yep, it sure did. Oh, and sweet tea...I was shocked in my adulthood to discover that in other parts of the country you can't order sweet tea in a restaurant...it all comes unsweet and you have to add sugar to it.

The whole food experience in the south is not just about gravy and grease, it's how we show love. When someone dies, we bake that family a cake. When someone gives birth, we cook that family supper so the new mama doesn't have to worry about it. If it's your birthday, we are gonna have a barbecue for you. Whatever the situation, we are gonna feed you so you know that we love you.

I think this is going to big one of the biggest changes I will have to soon face. I need to learn how to show love without food. More importantly, I will need to know that I am still loved without someone feeding me.

Walmart and Halloween

Actually, when I think about it, everyday could qualify as Halloween in Walmart. But, for today's purpose I am actually talking about the real Halloween....or at least the candy part of it.

I usually do my grocery shopping over the weekend, but this week I am fall break (or as I call it "save teacher sanity week"). I decided I would wait until Monday to do my grocery shopping, in hopes that it would be a little less crazy on a boring Monday...I was wrong. Anyway, by this time of  the year I have usually stored up on 5 or 6 bags of Halloween candy and would buy a few more each week until Halloween. This year I have none. I have not bought one single bag of the chocolate crack because I can't trust myself around it.

Chocolate is my thing...well almost anything with sugar in it. Once I get banded I don't have to worry so much about chocolate because I just won't bring it on the house. Neither the Rockstar (baby daddy) or the Boy care for chocolate, so it's a no brainer. However, they do like to partake in some other other various crack happy foods....snack cakes, cookies, poptarts, etc. Neither one of them have even an ounce to lose. Thye are supportive of me...but not enough to give up their own junk food.

How do y'all deal with the temptation still being all around you???

The internet is the devil!

My surgery is exactly 3 weeks from tomorrow. I thought I was feeling pretty good about it...until this weekend. You see, I am one of those kind of people who can read something about an illness, syndrome, etc. and swear I will get it. Doesn't matter what it is....brain tumor, appendicitis, swine flu, testicular cancer...I swear that I will get it, even when I know I don't have testes.

So, this weekend I started reading about things that can go wrong with lap band surgery.....BAD idea. Now, I have myself scared to death that all of these will happen to me.

I think I should just go back to blog stalking y'all....it makes me feel much better about my decision.

Help!

Ok, so I am new to this whole blogging thing and I need help. I have tried commenting on several blogs and I can't...I don't know what I am doing wrong. I have commented on a few, but it won't let me on some. Help.....please :-)

Big Ass Barbie

Since a few of you have commented on the blog name and assumed that I love Barbies, I thought I would tell you how the name came about. I mentioned that I am a special ed teacher, but what I didn't tell ya is that I teach behavior disordered and emotionally disturbed kiddos. Although I love these "misunderstood" teenagers, I will tell you that it is imperative to have thick skin if you are around them long....they do NOT mind (and sometimes take pleasure in) hurting your feelings. They will talk about your weight, clothes, hair, and anything else they think may possibly offend you when the mood strikes them. So a couple of weeks ago one of these lovely children was in a mood...and I don't mean a good one. He had said something negative about everyone in the class. He frequently calls my assistant Mr. Potato Head....my assistant is bald by choice, but he does not particularly like to called Mr. Potato Head. If you let these kids know that they have pushed your buttons you might as well take the rest of the day off...because they will keep pushing those buttons like it is their paying job. On this particular day my assistant ignored his potato head references and the kid decided to move on to bigger and better subjects...meaning me. I don't really remember the names he called me at first, as I was ignoring him. Then, he said "I know what your name should be...it should be Big Ass Barbie!" Well, he meant it as insult...but I threw my head back and just laughed and laughed. Then I looked at him with the biggest smile on face and said "awwww, you think I look like Barbie???" So, when I started this blog I was still overjoyed that one of my kids thought I looked like Barbie (even if it was Big Ass Barbie). I wanted the name Lap Band Barbie...but it wasn't available. So, I settled for Rockband Barbie...and that's how this Barbie came about :-)

Feeling the love :-)

So, I send Lap Band Gal one little email and poof...I have followers! That girl must have some pull...maybe I should ask for winning lottery numbers next :-)

I have a date now! No, not the hot sexy buy me dinner kind, but the life changing make me sexy kind. My surgery is scheduled for November 7th. I am nervous, happy, scared, excited, and a little freaked out...all at the same time. I haven't told many people that I getting the band. Not because I care if people know, but moreso because I don't go around randomly telling people about any other health issues I have, so I figured why would this be any different. I am telling all of you because blog stalking some of you is what helped me to make my decision.

So a little bit about me...I am 41 years old. I have two boys, one is grown and the other thinks he is. I am a Special Ed teacher and have been for 14 years. My mother is my best friend. I have two toy poodles that I call my babies (we don't use the d-o-g word in this house).

I haven't always been fat. I was actually a very normal weight until the last decade or so. My weight has been a real roller coaster since then. I was hospitalized last year in ICU for what they deemed "malignant hypertension." I knew I had high blood pressure, but once my cardiologist referred to it as "malignant" it somehow seemed a lot scarier. My blood pressure is still uncontrolled. I have been to every kind of doctor you can imagine...cardiologist, endocrinologist, hypertension specialist...you name it, I have seen them. So, the common theme among all of these doctors was drugs, drugs and more drugs. They all said "you need to lose weight...you just eat less and move more"....well if it was that easy don't you think I would save myself a buttload of money on all of these doctors visits and drugs and just do that??? I feel like I am in a vicious cycle right now...the higher my bp the more drugs they add. The more drugs they add, the less I feel like moving. The less I move the more I gain. The more I gain, the higher my bp goes...and the cycle continues. So, here I am...ready to get out of this vicious cycle and get rid of some of these drugs.

Approved!!!!

I got a call from my surgeon's office this afternoon....my insurance has approved!!!! Although it was a six month long process before it was submitted, the insurance actually approved in less than a week :-) I call to get the date tomorrow! Woot woot...I am excited...and a little nervous.

So today is my very first post...yay me! I have been blog stalking many people for quite some time now as I was contemplating getting banded. Well, since it no longer a contemplation I figured I should stop stalking all of you and just join you. I am a blogging virgin, so be gentle with me :-)