Thursday, November 22, 2012

Happy Thanksgiving!!!



My Thanksgiving is coming to an end. We do our big meal and lunch...and then lay around in a turkey coma the rest of the day.

For the most part my day was great. Our gathering was much smaller than usual. One of sisters only comes in every other Thanksgiving. She alternates years so she spends one year with her husband's family and the next year with us. It was her year to stay in Atlanta...boooo. My dad decided to spend the week with his girlfriend (several hours away), so he wasn't there either. My other sister wasn't there, of course, because we haven't seen or talked to her in 3 years....until today.

Let me back track just a bit. Three years ago she decided she would not come to Thanksgiving dinner. She told my dad that is was because we didn't like her boyfriend. Well, it's true, I don't like her boyfriend...but I have never been rude or mean to him in any way. But I also don't go out of my way to pretend that I like him. Any way, she didn't come that year and hasn't come since. She also has not talked to me and I was even told that she saw me once in Walmart and quickly turned down an aisle so I wouldn't see her. Back in August (the month of her birthday) I sent her a text every day for almost a month. She never once responded to any of those texts.

Fast forward to today...

She sent me a text....I responded.


 
 
I am a little disappointed in myself that I didn't accept the offer, but I just didn't want to put myself in that awkard, uncomfortable position. I don't even know where she lives (although I do know it is some where close to my dad's house). Although I would like to mend our relationship, I just think the first time we see each again should be some where neutral. Do you think I am wrong??? It's ok if you do, I'm a big girl...I can handle the truth.
 
 
So, I went to my mother's house like I always do. She did most of the cooking. All I had to cook was the green beans and mac and cheese.
 
The food was great and although I ate more than I do on a normal day, I didn't eat any where near what I would have a couple of years ago. This was my plate when I started...
 
 
 
 
I would have taken a pic of the "after", but I got up and left the table and when I came back the plate was gone. My mom said she knew I wouldn't finish it, so she threw it away. I ate all of the turkey, some of the ham, and about half of everything else. I also had two bites of fudge pie later in the day.
 
 
My mom tried talking me into going shopping with her tonight...not gonna happen. Her partner is going with her and I am sure they will have a great time...but it's just not my thing.
 
 
 
 
That's my Thanksgiving in a nutshell. I hope all of y'all had a great one too!!



15 comments:

Amy said...

I think your response was very tactful and appropriate! Kudos to you, because that's probably nicer than what I would have said. :)

♫ Drazil ♪ said...

Geesh - that's a hard one. The spirit of the holiday prob got into her BUT I think you did the right thing. YOu didn't not accept the offer - you accepted on a raincheck so you can still mend. Family is so hard sometimes. So is she still with that guy?

tz said...

Gosh that's a hard one...not knowing your sister..is this going to give her another reason to believe people are against her boyfriend choice? It's almost like she set this up to be a failure. If so it's on her. You did make the right choice, you need to take care of yourself and your family and not put any of you in such an awkward position. I hope she does take you up on a lunch date. Otherwise your day sounded wonderful. Happy belated Thanksgiving.

Vanessa said...

Happy thanksgiving!

jennxaz said...

I think you did the right thing and I like that you responded. Why make the holiday awkward...save that for another day. I did go shopping either!

Anna said...

Happy Thanksgiving, my band twin! I know about the awkwardness of non-speaking families...my older sister and I haven't spoken in person in about 6 years, and the communication we have on facebook is "polite". I chose not to invite her to my wedding in 2008, and I have a vague and general idea of where she lives, but wouldn't be able to find her place if my life depended on it. It's hard. But the worst thing you could do would have been to go over there, be uncomfortable and awkward, and just make the situation worse. Hugs to you!

Anonymous said...

Hi Rockband Barbie - I read your blog regularly and love it! I am on my own lapband journey. May I play devil's advocate with your response to your sister - it is kind of cold - she is reaching out, meet her halfway. You reprimand her for the inappropriateness of her invitation instead of welcoming the contact. The ball is in your court now - you have to be the one who reaches out next to arrange a get together. We don't get to choose our family - true - but they are so much a part of us, an important part.

Holly from 300 Pounds Down said...

First off I have to say you are really drop dead gorgeous!!! You do look like Barbie!! Secondly, I think not hearing from your sister after 3 whole years is pretty major and therefore nothing is wrong with having the first meeting in a neutral location where you both can sit down and maybe mend fences. Nothing at all wrong with that in my book . After all you did contact her every single day for a month and not get a response. That is kind of hurtful so I can see where you would be apprehensive and want neutral ground. I wish you the best of luck in that situation!!

MandaPanda said...

I think you were right. If you're feeling somewhat guilty (not that you should), perhaps you can be the one to reach out next and invite her on a specific day to to have lunch?

speck said...

Yeah, this is a hard one.

I applaud her for reaching out but I understand your reasoning for not going.

I would guess that she received it in a negative way. But I don't think you should just say yes to someone when you really don't want to.



adorkbl said...

Ahhhh families. Sorry you have a strained relationship with your sister. Sounds like there is a lot of hurt there. As an outside party I just want to say that it must have been hard for her to reach out after all that time. You have to decide whether or not you want re-connect... if you do... I would reach out and let her know it caught you off guard and you would like to meet up for lunch. Best of luck!

Michelle said...

I think if she really wanted you there she would have texted in advance. Now the ball is in your court and that is not fair.she threw a hail Mary knowing full well you would not come.

Run, Chelle, Run! said...

I wouldn't have gone either - it probably would have been super awkward. But I think you handled it great, and I hope this leads to a lunch together soon!

Tina @ The Bandit Girl said...

good response. Better to address the real issues than pretend there aren't any. Your Mom is a doll!

Cheri said...

I'm so glad you were able to have a great day with your mom.

I hope you and your sister are able to connect another time..I hope her reaching out might be a sign things are going better for her, and there is some room for healing in that relationship.